THE Place for singles to meet

Hands down - this is the best place for singles to meet

Forget singles bars. Dump the Laundromat. And don't even think about one of those online dating services. This is the place to meet your mate.

At the blood donor clinic.

I'm not kidding. I just gave blood this morning, and while I'm not searching for that someone special, it occured to me that this place was a gold mine for men and women to get together.

 

 

Here's the scoop.

You check in at the front desk, then sit in the first of two little waiting areas. Plenty of time to check out the other donors. Wedding rings on this side, no wedding rings over here. (Just kidding) Then you get your finger poked while they ask you for all your vital stats, including birthdate. Let's say you've spotted Mr. or Ms. Right, with a little ear-power you now know how old they are. And where they live. The screeners don't actually ask for a copy of your tax return, but what the hell, you need something to discuss over your first drink.

So, you like what you see, you know how old they are and their exact address. Now you get to move to the second little waiting area. Maybe a chance to exchange a quick comment on the weather. Measure the response and decide whether you've got a shot at a phone number. But not yet. Don't rush things. The best is yet to come.

Serious nurses then herd you into tiny rooms, where they take your blood pressure, body temperature (with an oral thermometer, thank God) and ask you to recite all your vital stats again. But this time you're alone. Just the interrogator and the interrogatee. (That's actually a word, check it out.) And it's now, with just the two of you in the room, that it gets good.

They ask you questions. Nasty questions, like "Do you have AIDS or HIV?"

That's pretty direct, don't you think?

That zinger is followed with others, like "Have you had sex in the last six months with someone whose sexual background you don't know?"

Wow, this is one question you'll never see on the application form at Home Depot.

They keep coming. "Have you taken money or drugs for sex in the last twelve months?"

More, more, more. I don't want to give everything away here. You've got to try this if you want to find out all the questions. That should boost the blood supply if lots of you guys and gals want to give this a shot.

So, from there you get to the donor station. This part bites. They stick a really big needle in your arm and suck out a ton of blood. Do NOT attempt this if you have recently written the IRS or Revenue Canada a check, as you have no blood left.

Here's the best part. After they fill this transparent bag with blood, they send you to the coffee station. Now is when you can mingle. Sit next to the person you're interested in and order a coffee. (I think this is funny as they're trying to rehydrate you and they're serving a diuretic.) They even have cookies and muffins. God, what a place. Free food and drink, and a quiet place to talk. So what would a conversation go like? Maybe this...

"So, how did you do on the questions today?"

"Pretty well, managed a no for each one. How about you?"

"I was close on that six month one, but made it by a couple of days."

"Yeah, that one's a bitch."

"Toughest one, no doubt about it. The one about having sex with someone from Africa is probably the easiest."

"I breeze through that one."

"Listen, you want to have a coffee sometime?"

"I am. See, right here in my hand."

"Oh."

"Just kidding. I'd love to."

And there you go. I mean, where else do you meet people who have just been grilled on their sex life and have come through with a gold star?

The blood donor clinic. Be there or go without.


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